One more ...

One more year. One more day. One more Valentines day.

Only when my friend told me what he is planning to gift his girlfriend, did I realise, twenty-two Valentines Day had went past me and now look straight into my face. Twenty-two. Twenty-two is also important because I was born on that day.

Exactly a week is left. Exactly seven days. Seven. What a coincidence! Thats the month I was born in - July. Most of these Twenty-two years went without my knowing the significane of the date, 14 February. It doesnt matter, anyway, because the rest of them slipped through my fingers like sand. I was unable to hold it. The more I tried, the faster it flowed. And was gone.

Futile attempts that I make, though, I know its going to be the same. As it had been, always. Alone.

I dont know why? Everyyear, everytime, as this date arrived I distanced myself from everyone and everything. No more TVs, no more newspapers, no more markets, no more talks. I keep away from everything that reminds me that Valentines day is arriving. I fear to look at it face-to-face, as it smiles straight at me. Maybe I fear someone else being in my life, replacing my first love. I do it to keep myself away from getting closer to someone else. I spend a whole week with the image of my beloved, though she is no more.

And the week has started. From tomorrow there wont be a TV program for me, no newspapers, no going out to the market, no talks. And the last two days I wont even be getting out of my room. No more communication with this world, this letter might be the last.

I know the god will give me enough courage to do what i could not in the past, and I will be with her. In the dawn the sunrays would make her face glow bright, while she would look at the vanishing ship, far in the ocean; and after a long time I would be able to sleep beside her with my closed eyes, while she would caress my hairs with her soft hands. And I will hold the sand in my hand, and this time I wont let it slip through my fingers.